Passing On About Passing On. A repost from Sept. 28, 2010.
Dear Friends:
If you'll permit me, I'd like to share some of the valuable lessons I've learned since my Darling Husband passed on. I'm wishing there had been a handbook of what to do when facing the loss of a loved one. But, I am thankful for the direction and the grace God gave in leading me through a number of difficult decisions before that fateful day came. For the many out there who may not be so blessed, or have chosen not to think about it 'til it happens to them, this is a wakeup call.
Lesson one: it pays to at least shop around.
I didn't purchase anything ahead of time, but when the day came I knew to whom I would go to make those all important arrangements. While it may not be appealing to think of shopping for burial blots and funeral homes, doing so saved me thousands of dollars. Burying a loved one is just as expensive as marrying one. For the record, that advertisement that says funerals could cost you up to $10,000.00 should be doubled. It would be safer to say that cremation could cost that much. For burials it's the minimum after you include the plot. Don't be fooled into thinking that just because you're grieving, people will be kind and compassionate. Most of them probably are, but know the facts. Most funeral sales people work on commission. Therefore, the more they talk you into, the more they make.
Lesson two: don't buy over the phone.
This may sound like a no brainer, but lots of grieving widows and widowers can't handle the idea of touring the cemetery to pick just the right spot. Savvy funeral salesmen know this and play on those very weaknesses. The first gentleman to return my call spoke of rolling hillsides next to quiet streams. Before I knew it the cost had risen to $30,000.00. And guess what, the cemetery he wanted me to purchase in, had no such settings. (Google Earth is a wonderful tool.) A week later he even called me back to ask if I'd made my decision as plots were selling fast due to the impending HST. I was aware that the HST had already been kicked into effect for real estate. And yes, funeral plots are considered real estate. Thankfully you only have to pay property tax once.
Lesson three: sign your 'Survivorship Cards.'
Having a legal will drawn up by a lawyer is best and essential between spouses. However, it will be forced through probate at a percentage of the inheritance if the deceased has even one bank account in their sole name. And the banks are the ones who enforce it as they have a lot to gain through estate accounts and fees. Even joint accounts have their loopholes. Here in Canada banks have a policy in the fine print that if 'Survivorship Cards' have not been signed, the survivor of a joint account is legally only entitled to half of the balance in the account at the time of notice. These cards must be signed on each account.
Lesson four: be on the bills even if you don't pay them.
Spouses need to be jointly named on household bills. I took this lesson from a dear friend whose husband passed the year before mine. All of their bills were in her common-law husband’s name. When he passed away, she had a very small income. Sadly she was unable to make changes to reduce the accounts as companies wouldn't discuss them with her due to the privacy act. When she informed one company of his death, they immediately closed the account and forced her to open a new one. Not only did they hit her with new registration and hook up fees, having no personal credit rating of her own, she was forced to sign a contract at a higher cost, and all recognition of their past patronage was lost.
Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a loved one...the grief...the endless paperwork...the mountain of details. But each step you take now, is one less stress to deal with then. It will give you more time to do what you'll want to do most...reminisce on the good times.
Your friend,
Beverly
If you'll permit me, I'd like to share some of the valuable lessons I've learned since my Darling Husband passed on. I'm wishing there had been a handbook of what to do when facing the loss of a loved one. But, I am thankful for the direction and the grace God gave in leading me through a number of difficult decisions before that fateful day came. For the many out there who may not be so blessed, or have chosen not to think about it 'til it happens to them, this is a wakeup call.
Lesson one: it pays to at least shop around.
I didn't purchase anything ahead of time, but when the day came I knew to whom I would go to make those all important arrangements. While it may not be appealing to think of shopping for burial blots and funeral homes, doing so saved me thousands of dollars. Burying a loved one is just as expensive as marrying one. For the record, that advertisement that says funerals could cost you up to $10,000.00 should be doubled. It would be safer to say that cremation could cost that much. For burials it's the minimum after you include the plot. Don't be fooled into thinking that just because you're grieving, people will be kind and compassionate. Most of them probably are, but know the facts. Most funeral sales people work on commission. Therefore, the more they talk you into, the more they make.
Lesson two: don't buy over the phone.
This may sound like a no brainer, but lots of grieving widows and widowers can't handle the idea of touring the cemetery to pick just the right spot. Savvy funeral salesmen know this and play on those very weaknesses. The first gentleman to return my call spoke of rolling hillsides next to quiet streams. Before I knew it the cost had risen to $30,000.00. And guess what, the cemetery he wanted me to purchase in, had no such settings. (Google Earth is a wonderful tool.) A week later he even called me back to ask if I'd made my decision as plots were selling fast due to the impending HST. I was aware that the HST had already been kicked into effect for real estate. And yes, funeral plots are considered real estate. Thankfully you only have to pay property tax once.
Lesson three: sign your 'Survivorship Cards.'
Having a legal will drawn up by a lawyer is best and essential between spouses. However, it will be forced through probate at a percentage of the inheritance if the deceased has even one bank account in their sole name. And the banks are the ones who enforce it as they have a lot to gain through estate accounts and fees. Even joint accounts have their loopholes. Here in Canada banks have a policy in the fine print that if 'Survivorship Cards' have not been signed, the survivor of a joint account is legally only entitled to half of the balance in the account at the time of notice. These cards must be signed on each account.
Lesson four: be on the bills even if you don't pay them.
Spouses need to be jointly named on household bills. I took this lesson from a dear friend whose husband passed the year before mine. All of their bills were in her common-law husband’s name. When he passed away, she had a very small income. Sadly she was unable to make changes to reduce the accounts as companies wouldn't discuss them with her due to the privacy act. When she informed one company of his death, they immediately closed the account and forced her to open a new one. Not only did they hit her with new registration and hook up fees, having no personal credit rating of her own, she was forced to sign a contract at a higher cost, and all recognition of their past patronage was lost.
Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a loved one...the grief...the endless paperwork...the mountain of details. But each step you take now, is one less stress to deal with then. It will give you more time to do what you'll want to do most...reminisce on the good times.
Your friend,
Beverly
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